Have you ever feel rather negative about yourself? Sometimes, when I am just sitting by myself, I start to have negative thoughts (which is why I always try to keep myself busy!)
A couple of weeks ago, I was hanging out with some friends, and we were talking about how we were “way back when” (man, we’re NOT that old..) and I remembered what my Mom said to me once or twice (or perhaps more than that hehe): “good thing you’re not that pretty, so you won’t have to worry about having some jerks trying to hit on you” well thanks, Mom, I love you too! Haha….. was that supposed to make me feel better??? Oh well. I didn’t care much about it then, I just agreed with her. It really didn’t matter when she said it (I was probably about 11 or 12 years old, who cares?) but it hit me, and it hit me hard, when I was in high school. I mean, come on, who wouldn’t want to be called “pretty” or “handsome”? It’s so shallow, I know, but I was only 15 or 16 years old when it hit me! And at that time, no matter how many times “wise” people said that inner beauty is more important (and they’re correct), if you don’t look good, you’re screwed.
It took me a while to get to a point when I could finally accept the way I look (plastic surgery??? ugh…. I’d rather use the money for a trip around the world!). I know I could never get to look like some model or something, and I probably won’t be the kind of girl that makes guys turn their heads when she walks into a room. But I learned that health, courage, persistence, and common sense are more important in this life.
So, yes, I do feel down sometimes, but these days I may feel down because I got bored, and not because I am scrutinizing my physical appearance. I’ve got many things to be happy and grateful for. Hey, I may not be pretty, but I know that I’ve got great friends, and I could take pride in saying that even though I’ve thought of giving up several times when I was in school and in college, I was able to find courage to push myself harder. I’ll be honest and say that I’m not entirely that brave, but one way or another, we all have to find a source of our strength! Be it our dream, our family.. just find it! And when we do, I could guarantee (based on my personal experience) that we’ll be stronger than before.
